Lots of things come in sevens; the days of the week, the seven deadly sins, the seven basic plots. God created the world in seven days. There were apparently seven brides and seven sisters. There is a seventh heaven. Snow White met seven Dwarfs. There are seven ages of man. It is even stated that there are Seven Wonders of the World – although I am sure there are many more. Oh yes, and once you start to really get fed up with your spouse; there is of course the seven year itch. OK, so you’ve got the picture, seven is a much-used number. So, when I was asked to write about, how to be a Londoner, I thought, why not use the number seven again. Tah dah!
Seven Steps to being a Londoner
Step one – come from any city, town or village in the world.
Step two – be prepared to be either very rich or more likely very poor.
Step three – get used to getting lost in crowds, on trains, in back alleys and on one way driving systems.
Step four – become accustomed to the easy life; e.g. expect twenty-four hour access to ALL services. The downfalls of this will become apparent to you when on holiday you discover that pubs stop serving food at 2:30pm and it becomes a crisis!
Step five – lose all empathy, you’ve seen far too many stories on London news to even flinch now.
Step six – become a master of complaining.
Step seven – understand that no matter how much you complain, swear or hate London, you WILL, keep coming back for more.
So there we have it, how to be a Londoner in seven easy steps, very interesting. However, not as interesting as the most exciting number seven fact that I found out whilst researching this blog entry. In December 2006, a hunter from Wisconsin ran over and killed a seven-legged hermaphroditic deer. He was later recorded saying “It’s a pretty weird deer,” later adding: “It was tasty.” – They say in London anything is possible, but I personally doubt I’ll ever run into a seven legged deer, let alone eat one.
June 19, 2007 at 7:31 pm
Stumbled across your blog and liked the seven steps idea. Made me wonder if there’s a 12-step program for people who want to wean themselves off London; a kind of London Anonymous. Aren’t there seven deadly sins too? Now you mention it, I’m not sure I know anyone (bar myself) who can say they were born and raised in London and carried on living there.
June 19, 2007 at 8:30 pm
Hi there soulcompost, thanks for reading the blog. Yes there are seven sins which i mentioned. I have tried to wean myself off London many times – it never works. I think once you’re born here to get so spoilt that every where else seems primitive. It is strange though, i do love the beach and the country-side, but i just keep coming back for more. I know a few people that were born and raised in London and stayed, but what i will say is that those from London seem to have the perplexity to explore other places more than those from country-side regions. I know some welsh people that love their home so much that they are too stubborn to go on holiday!
June 20, 2007 at 6:04 am
That’ll teach me to read more carefully! Of course you mentioned the seven deadly sins. What about the seven samurai? Don’t know if I’m much of an explorer outside the city myself though, except for other cities.
June 21, 2007 at 11:59 pm
God created The World in six days. He rested on the seventh.
Its also seven wonders of The Ancient World.
London is like a loose tooth, painful but impossible to leave alone.
I’m really loving this
June 24, 2007 at 9:13 am
Brilliant blog. I love all your entries!! It’s nice reading about a city I lived 2 years in. You put into words what most Londoners have experienced, it’s great! Keep going! x x